a while back i created a simple website with my friend peter about the writer jean sulivan. i happened to look back on it the other day and found this piece i wrote in what seems too long ago. yet so appropriate for this moment.

abrupt ends and brief spaces

if sulivan would have been american, i presume he’d be a southerner. a bluesman, of sorts.

he visited america once, i think. but like his trip to india, however, it seemed to have had an abrupt end. it seemed also to have only been for a brief space of time. i may be wrong.

abrupt ends and brief spaces. like his words and sentences. like the life lived.i don’t know sulivan’s words well. i won’t ever presume to. but i know his words hurt and i know his words heal.

as i left the parking lot of work today, i lit a cigarrette and i listened to townes van zandt. the song reminded me of the same kind of abrupt ends and brief spaces sulivan wrote of so well.

We all got holes to fill
Them holes are all that’s real
Some fall on you like a storm
Sometimes you dig your own

But choice is yours to make
And time is yours to take
Some dive into the sea
Some toil upon the stone

To live is to fly
both low and high,

So shake the dust off of your wings
And the sleep out of your eyes
So shake the dust off of your wings
And the tears out of your eyes

and now as i leave houston i thought again of this song from the rear view mirror album. unlike 2005 this time’s for good and despite my love of houston it doesn’t feel too bad at all. not sure what i’ll find in austin if anything. not sure im looking for much these days anyway. just some good spaces to try to sit and breathe somewhat mindfully.

It’s goodbye to all my friends
It’s time to leave again
Here’s to all the poetry
And the pickin’ down the line

I’ll miss the system here
The bottom’s low and the trebble’s clear
But it don’t pay to think too much
On things you leave behind

Well, I may be gone, awe, I won’t be long
I’ll be bringing back the melody
And the rhythm that I find

We all got holes to fill
And them holes are all that’s real
Some fall on you like a storm
Sometimes you dig your own

The choice is yours to make
Time is yours to take
Some dive into the sea
Some toil upon the stone

Well, to live’s to fly awe low and high
So shake the dust off of your wings
And the sleep out of your eye
Awe, shake the dust off of your wings
And the tears out of your eye

in the midst of all the hoopla (hoopla that will only be sensationalized by right wing bigots over the course of the next months) about rev. wright, obama’s former minister, i stumbled upon this video.

a nice follow up to my previous post on my church attendance. or the lack thereof, these days.

where would jesus church.

a complicated time isn’t it. the turkey time. some thanks in there somewhere in between.

i’m thankful for family, of course, and beyond that…for what is good. the post below states it plenty well.

“…a cool breeze, a nice abode, a best friend, a funny dog, a quirky cat and some good sounds…”

q’ hora es…mi corazon…

time for school, what else.

a place of hope for some and despair for others.

perspective is all, perhaps.

the name itself conjures up a lament or two of times gone by. 12 years. +college.

of what exactly? learning? education? social development? 12 years. +college.

leaving early these days (actually on time..but for a teacher, that’s early…)

trying to sort through what brought me to this path. slowly.

not writing much these days but need to.

for my own damn good.

not thinking much, even.

that’s the nature of school. for kids. for teachers.

it suffocates you. it busies you. so that time to think and reflect is all but gone.

so i leave early, to sit with bukz and frida outside for some time. to sit in defiance.

of this thing called school.

houston is good. bbq. not much time to write these days. not good.

zechs and all in your head…free show at boondocks.

…began my return to houston with some music by all in your head. houston music has been good. hollywoodblack on walters wasn’t at all bad last night…

…music is good…and hTown is definitely the best place to soak it up in texas.

good night last night. not bad for a tuesday night. some good red cat jazz and a funky band with a really good cello player at deans. this is houston. on tuesday. not bad. there’d be no way i’d get this on a saturday night in the valley. music makes the transition good.

still settling into the house. had our first guests at our new casita on sunday night. i love it. bbq’ed some pepper dijon burgers with some mango shrimp for appetizers and good wine. not bad. they arrived at 7 and left at 1, very content. not bad for our first attempt at hosts at our new little abode.

haven’t made time to write or choose an old poem to post on pzalabraz. perhaps soon. want to find a rhythm for my new houston life. looking fwd to visiting the zen center in july. learn to show up, sit down and shut up. not bad for spiritual practice.